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“Dude, I was looking for you at your house, but your grandmother was the only one there. Guy is she hot, and she knows it! She was constrained but she asked me if I was her sons buddy with the big pecker that she’d heard about. I says her I was. She asked if she could see it so I pulled it out. It was hard as a rock and 10 inches long. She gasped a little and told me to come back after 9 o’clock. Sorry, buddy, but I’m going to CUM INSIDE YOUR GRAMMA tonight, so please don’t come home early!”

18 U.S.C. 2257 Record Keeping-Requirements Compliance Statement