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“You’re a stranger to Croyden County, ain’t ya, Mister? What’s in the suitcase? Bra samples! Mmm, nuthin’ a decent babe could dress in. Well, Goober’s fillin’ station ain’t open until 6am so you are a’gonna got to spend the night here. In the morning, I can run you over and get your tire fixed. This time, I hope you do not mind none but we got a right small put here. So you are gonna have ta sleep in my daughter Linsey’s room. Don’t mind her none’. That young’un can go on all night a’chatting. She just loves to meet strangers. Gotta warn ya, she done like to talk a lot of that thar sexy stuff. Ah guess it’s because thar ain’t much to do ’round those parts so mebbe she can get a little perky when she meets a new face. It is all I can do to keep those farm arms offen her when I got my back turned, ’cause she done got the greatest taters in Croyden County and she sure do like to show ’em off. I’ve had to pepper my share of backsides with buckshot from old Betsy here, y’know. This time I gotta warn ya that the walls are right thin and I sleep next door. So I don’t wanna hear any monkey business or you, me and Betsy here are got to have a meetin’. So you go right on up and knock on Linsey’s door. She’ll be right pleased for the company tonight. Sleep tight and the outhouse is to the right. If you need everything, just holler.”

18 U.S.C. 2257 Record Keeping-Requirements Compliance Statement